I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
