there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
