Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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