On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
