Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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