Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
