I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize