paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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