You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize