Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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