next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
