brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
your room smells of hookers.
And success
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
