there was a trapeze. enough said
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
