The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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