I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
