Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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