you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
