i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
