he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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