so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
