Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize