He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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