with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
