Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(907): View more from Alaska

i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat

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(662): View more from Mississippi

you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again

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(303): View more from Colorado

I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on

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(402): View more from Nebraska

From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(772): View more from Florida

I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"

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(678): View more from Georgia

Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?

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(253): View more from Washington

So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?

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