And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
dude i'm inner monologue high
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
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He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
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Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
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