Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.