i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.