I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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