ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus