Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
