Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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