YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Let's get the cat blown out
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
