Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
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A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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