His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
