gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
