Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
