I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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