I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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