Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
