WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
