At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
