Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize