Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
