The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
