How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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