new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
