You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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