After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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