you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize