so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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