How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
