do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Randomize
