There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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