yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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