I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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