Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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