He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
