Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
