does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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