Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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