how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
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Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
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Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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