After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.