i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Rumble strips road head = magical
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing